Hear the Child

Hear the Child or Views of the Child. The lives of children are affected by decisions that are made for them and about them. Where they live; who they live with; how much time they spend with each parent and their ability to have contact with extended family members, to name a few.

Do we get these decisions right? Well…. sometimes, but not always.

Can we make it better? Probably.

How can we make it better? Obtain more information.

Where do we get this information? How about from the individual who the decision is being made for?

When should we get the information? As early as possible, before decisions are made.

These are all questions that have been asked and answered. Children have views. Children have rights. Children should have the right to express their views. Children have the right to express their views about decisions that affect them, just like anyone else would and would expect.

Do children actually make the decisions? This is a very common question and the answer is “No”. Children do not decide, but children can provide clarity and sometimes simplicity to complex adult disputes. Oftentimes, this is exactly what may be needed to do the following:

1. Reduce conflict between parents
2. Lead to better relationships between parents
3. Lead to better relationships between parent and child
4. Provide better information
5. Make better decisions for the child and the family

Children love and should love each parent. The parent child relationship is very special. A healthy parent child relationship is critical to the growth and development of a child. It deserves focus and attention. It is unique to each parent and child. Each child will have their own special views on that relationship. How do we get this information if we do not ask, and, equally important, if we do not listen?

Parents can learn from their children. Children can help parents focus on what is really important: to maintain a loving, caring and healthy relationship between the child and each parent and each significant adult in that child’s live.

Hear the Child; Views of the Child. Whatever it is called; it should be considered when decisions are to be made about children and the rights and interests of children.

I am very proud to be on the Roster of the B. C. Hear the Child Society (www.hearthechild.ca)